What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
13.06.2025 00:02
I was very sick at this time too.
Would this be the day?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Is there a possibility that we are living in a simulation and that there is a concept of rebirth?
And i lived it daily.
I could never make a relationship work though!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
How do you get people to follow your Quora Space?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She married twice! .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Can you explain the meaning of "mint condition" in relation to antiques or collectibles?
She found it foreign!.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
What is world history that not many people know about?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Bicycling tied to reduced dementia risk and greater hippocampal volume retention - Medical Xpress
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But ive been too sick for many years..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Why do people always talk about Ohio as it's a dangerous city?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He knew the spot.
Why is it so hard to date nowadays?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
What do all Indian parents have in common?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I waited trembling.
I don,t even have a pension.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But it wasn’t much.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Put me off passion for life!!
But, we were locked up after school.
I write beautiful poetry .
All the time i was locked up.
One cannot live in the past .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
What did i know ?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Im still living with it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I was scared of men, in general
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
We were not on the streets..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I couldn’t, believe it.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Comes on , in middle age.
I said to her
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
So whats the point in blame.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I will be 64.
She was in good health!
Why did i forgive my father ?
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I was 9 years of age.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
It was going to be , some day.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
My family never makes their pension either.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
As i do to all so called friends.?
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I have no regrets .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
This is soul school!.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
(And it was in our own minds.)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Who then, do I blame.?
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Ive learnt so much.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She wouldn,t have been !
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Was to survive, this bastard.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We all went to grammer schools
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
When she asked me how she looked .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
So, i spoilt her more .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I was seconnd youngest,
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She loved him until the end.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My life is so biszare .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I think the readers, may guess!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.